My grandfather and my daughter adored and loved each other. When he was about to pass away I had difficulty finding the right words to narrate his condition to her. I found it even more difficult to explain his death. 

I am grateful that my mama initiated the dialogue with her. Before the little girl went to the hospital to see him, my mother explained:

  1. What made grandpa sick,
  2. What are the doctors doing to make him feel comfortable,
  3. What is the family doing, and 
  4. What can she do to help.

When it was already my turn to talk to her, I started crying. She amazed me when she hugged and reassured me that “his ’shadow’ is sick but will go to see God soon, that God will make his ’shadow’ well and he will be happy again”.

When I brought my daughter to the hospital, she didn’t cry nor got scared of the machines attached to grandpa, instead she bravely walked close to him, touched his hand, and sang songs for him.

The morning after grandpa died, mama told her that he is happy now, resting in a special bed and will be with God soon. Instead of crying she just smiled. When I brought her to the wake, she held my hand and we walked to see our grandpa, this time laying in the coffin. When my daughter saw me sobbing, she hugged me tight and confidently said ”He is okay, he is going to heaven now to see God!”.

When explaining to kids the death of a loved one, we have a tendency to either lie or sugar coat every detail to protect our young kids from getting hurt or upset. This experience made me realize it is still best to tell kids the truth by simply explaining what had happened, what may happen next, and what they can do to help. Although they are little, sometimes they understand and accept things better than we adults do.

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